27. Whisper it
Salsa Maionese. Mayonnaise. "The queen of cold sauces." To prepare it, forget what others say and know only this: go slowly from the beginning.
Stories abound about the origin of mayonnaise. Here's Ada's colorful take:
While the Duke of Mayenne was at war camp he enjoyed alternating the study of battle plans with the study of his menus. On the day in question, he ordered, in agreement with his cook, a sauce made of egg, oil, vinegar and aromatic herbs meant to accompany a superb cold hen. He'd just sat at the table when the hostilities once again began to rage. Intent on discussing with the cook some changes to be made to the sauce, he did so, not noticing how much time had passed. When he finally decided to enter the battle, the enemy cavalry had already destroyed his. But there is a silver lining! (Non tutti i mali vengono per nuocere! Literally: Not all ills come to harm!) The Duke of Mayenne may have lost the Battle of Arques, but he'd created the queen of cold sauces, which should therefore logically be called mayennaise.
Sweet. For the Duke, that is. Not so pleasant for his unattended cavalry.
Wikipedia offers the following variation: "Mayonnaise is said to be the invention of the French chef of the Duke de Richelieu in 1756. While the Duke was defeating the British at Port Mahon, his chef was creating a victory feast that included a sauce made of cream and eggs."
A tale somewhat less dramatic...and more victorious than Ada's. I'm wondering if she was just keen on using the wonderful saying: Non tutti i mali vengono per nuocere! Again, "Every cloud has a silver lining...."
Other cookbooks profess all kinds of wild ideas about this popular sauce, she writes. For example, there are those who advise to work it on ice; those who recommend not adding salt at the beginning; those who warn to keep half a lemon or vinegar ready, using it to thicken or dilute the sauce, etc., etc.
None of this (Niente di questo)! Keep in mind, she warns, that cold "is the worst enemy of mayonnaise" (è il piu grande nemico della maionese), because it tends to freeze the oil and then decompose the sauce. Further, salt, added from the beginning, actually holds up the molecules of the egg and provides a stronger assimilation.
The ingredients, proportionally: one egg yolk, half a glass [cup] of oil, a pinch of salt, and a small spoon of vinegar. Drop by drop, (goccia a goccia) as slowly as possible, (lentissimamente,) release the oil into the yolk, stirring constantly. That's it.
Don't listen to the others, she says. It's really quite simple. [I imagine if she were saying this aloud, her voice would hush to a whisper.] You have the secret.
What do you want to be when you grow up? Sister Helen Charles enunciated the words slowly as she wrote them in A+ cursive on the green chalk board. She began on the left side of the classroom, the row along the double-paned glass windows (which no one was allowed to look out of) that framed the field of dandelions and ragweed. Sister bounced her yardstick through the air at one child after the next, and one by one they voiced their answers. Michael, who would go on to repeat the first grade another two times, said “brain doctor.” When Kathy with the piggy legs said “dancer”, most of the class snickered. There were lots of veterinarians. This was a safe answer because everyone knew Sister preferred animals to people.
I had my eyes in my lap, watching my fingers stretch out long like twigs, my body growing stiff as my heart galloped. I looked up. Forty sets of eyes ate me. Sister’s mouth moved, though I could hear nothing but the black noise. When her lips stopped, and the yardstick remained pointed at me, I swallowed the dryness of my mouth, and summoning the only answer I could give, whispered…“happy”.
